PTA Queen

Last year my girl enrolled in this school. I was advised by my friends not to go to the PTA meetings. They said I'd "Take. Over."  Whatever. No I wouldn't. I'm so not like that.

This year, there was talk of an after school program. Currently I pay full price for an "off-the-premisis" after school program. I was intrigued by this. I must know what is going on.

I decide I will not talk. I will sit quietly and listen. Find out what I need to know and make a quiet exit. I will introduce myself to no one. I will sit alone in the back.

I get there, I sit in the front. I sit by other moms in my kid's class and introduce myself. I gossip and talk. I get high doing so. I ask many questions. I raise my hand making suggestions. I tear down the principal for her ignorance in front of the entire PTA. I am revered for this. I am admired for my fund raising suggestions. I am asked for my name and phone number by many parents afterwards. I am their Queen.
FUCK.

This can never happen again. I cannot control myself. I must take proper precautions.

I write down the date of the next PTA meeting in my planner.

Fool me once, shame on you...

Fool me twice, shame on me, right?

What do they say about people who get fooled for the 372986728th time?

I'm not really fooled. I just feel bad. Feel bad for myself and feel bad for her. She tried to be a good mother. I remember special things she tried to do. I remember lots of presents under the tree. I remember Santa came to our house on Christmas Eve to give us one present early...I imagine it went something like this...

Mom: Go git cher Slanta Sluit on for kids...go on...(hee hee)

Dad:  aight... (takes drag from blunt) ...fuckn Santa suit...damn kids...

It was magical!

She's been calling me a lot lately, trying to reconcile again. I want a mom, so I answer. She loves me - she just lovey the drinky more. She tells me she will NOT drink around me or the girl, EVER. She won't. She hardly ever does anymore. Please let's meet up, she says. Let's have dinner. This was on the phone last night at around 6:00 pm...

9:00 pm

Hello my daughter. It's your mother. (fuck, I know this tone)
I'm just SO sad because my sister isn't well and I'll never see her again the way that she was and the way that we were and the way that she was...I am so sad about that...I don't know what I'll do. You still love me though right? At least I have YOU, my daughter...I love my daughter...and your preccciouusss preccciouusss little baby girl that you love so much and I love so much and she is so special you know that don't you???????!! Why won't you let me see her you're going to let me see her right?

Mom, you really need to stop drinking....

OH FINE I DONT NEED TO YOU TO TALK TO ME!

...and she hung up.

Maybe I will find someone to wear a Slanta Sluit for my girl this year, make it special...