Boobs

Went to the beach two days in a row.

I have a "magic suit." It's for pudgy people with low hanging, lifeless boobs. It's a halter. The price you pay for cleavage and defying gravity is a nasty mark on the back of your neck at the end of the day. My poor neck had to carry DD piles of mush all day long. I also think somehow I pulled a muscle in my armpit - may or may not be related.

The girl's little 10 year old friend slept over the other night. She is starting to get boobs.

The girl decides she will try to WILL her boobs into existence. This must not work because she begins to squeeze them into place. I suppose the logic being that if she holds them there long enough, they will stay. What do you even SAY when you see this shit?

"Stop trying to squeeze your boobs into existence at the dinner table."

Yeah, that sounds appropriate. I just don't remember reading about that anywhere in the child rearing books.

Topamax makes my toes tingle like they are "asleep" all the time. ALL the time. I will still not trade this side effect for a migraine.

I held a newborn baby on Saturday. I want another baby, mostly. Not like, NOW...alone, single, by myself, again...that wasn't fun. Strange thing is I absolutely know in my memory that for an entire year I swore I would never go through child birth again. That it must be what dying a slow and painful death felt like and I would never again put myself through that. Never ever ever. I know that for at least 365 days I felt very strongly about this. Yet, today, I sit here and think to myself...

"I could totally do that again!"

This is how people wind up having multiple children. The memory fades with time. You always think it doesn't...but it does. Time heals all...even excruciating, vagina ripping pain.

Then, of course, you snap out of it and glance over at the kid YOU ALREADY HAVE to witness the squishing of her ninnies into place while you wonder where you went wrong as a parent and the whole idea of a second baby sounds like some kind of fucking nightmare.