When she dates...

Me: The man is on the phone telling me what he'll say to boys the girl dates

Friend: he won't tell them anything because she will sneak them around behind your back. that's what i did. so what will he say

"If you break her heart, listen, she has to get over it. Don't stay with her out of fear. But if you hurt her in any other way I will shoot you."
"I will happily go to jail. I won't fight it. I'll plea to manslaughter."

Friend: good he is going down happy.

Me: pretty much.

Friend: you can get probation for manslaughter if you don't have a record.
so he can be free and happy!

Me: awesome!

Friend: i wonder what i should say to the whores my boy shames me with
if you get pregnant i will kill you? no. not good to threaten that to a pregnant teen.

Me: HAHAHAHHA
this just became blog material.

Friend: fame!
you might mention how good it is that we have already taken care of these issues. something about our powers of organization.
how we encourage and nurture our children sort of thing.

Me: if you'd like.