Happy Days

There's this kid I work with...I hate him. Not because he's a bad person, but because EVERYTHING works out for him ALWAYS.

This, my friends, is a true story.

1. He is beyond late every single day for work. He shows up at lunch and people greet him with a smile.

2. He lies, gets caught, and somehow walks away smiling.

3. He makes people angry, they wait for him to show up so they can yell at him, he walks in, there is yelling for 3 seconds and by the time he walks out he is smiling, and they are thanking him for his time.

4. He just dropped his salad bowl, it landed face up and nothing fell out.

5. He finds/receives free stuff regularly.

6. He wins crap. Always.

7. Girls like him. (Not me.)

8. He is a dork, yet gets laid regularly (against all odds.)

9. He thinks everyday is a great day.

10. He does whatever he wants, whenever he wants, without a care in the world, and there are no consequences for this.

I wish, at the very least, a bird would poop on him. Do you know that I have been shat on by a bird FOUR times in my life? They say that is LUCKY. I say it's SHIT. Shit, that is ON me... I am the epitomy of Murphy's Law...they should rename it after me. If I'm going on vacation, it rains, everyday. If I need to be on time, there's traffic, my car breaks down and mysteriously my phone is also dead. If there isn't a toilet in a 20 mile radius, I have to pee. If I want a shower, there's no hot water. If I need to not be pregnant, I'm pregnant. This is my life and people aren't even surprised anymore when shit happens to me - or on me, for that matter. Bleh.