It's about that time...

This sounds nuts but every year around this time some awful crap happens to me. It is always out of nowhere. This year, my sister decides to outcast me from her wedding, but include my kid. Like that's gonna happen...we're done now. She and I never get along and I was stupid to think she'd changed. I like to see the best in people and give second chances. Sounds like a good thing but it's really turning into a fault of mine.

Anyway...

The boyfriend, the girl and I are taking a trip to Disney in the beginning of May. We're excited (Okay, I'm excited). Our trip happens to fall on the date we think is our anniversary and also during the week of Mother's day. Just picked up an awesome anniversary gift. The boy is afraid of planes and is actually driving, alone (no, I refuse, I'm friends with JetBlue), down to Orlando. He was attempting to conquer this feat with printed out directions from MapQuest. I foresee him getting lost so I got him a...drum roll please...Navigation System!

PS We used to have one...but...I left it in my car in my crackhead neighborhood and someone broke in and stole it.

Me (9:55:28 AM): Hey...imagine you had a penis and balls...wouldn't that bother you to have that junk hanging between your legs?
Me (9:55:50 AM): I mean, I get irritated when i get so fat that my thighs rub together
Me (9:55:54 AM): that's got to be annoying
Friend (9:56:10 AM): my first reaction is to say yes but i think theyd always be in my hand so i dont think itd bother me much.
Friend (9:56:28 AM): if i had a penis, id be arrested so freakin quick for doing lewd things in public.
Me (9:56:51 AM): i think they're gross
Friend (9:57:00 AM): peni?
Me (9:57:00 AM): i'll use them, in the dark, touch them if i have to
Friend (9:57:12 AM): thats def not the plural form but it looks funny lol
Me (9:57:26 AM): but it's about the most disgusting bunch of things to be coupled together and protruding from a humans body
Me (9:57:36 AM): yes peni
Me (9:57:40 AM): multiple peni
Friend (9:57:49 AM): hahaa
Me (9:59:20 AM): just ew.
Me (9:59:24 AM): I feel bad for men.
Friend (9:59:32 AM): lol
Friend (9:59:33 AM): dont.
Me (9:59:45 AM): imagine you get stuck with a small one?
Me (9:59:50 AM): that's got to mess you up for life
Me (10:00:00 AM): boobs, whatever, get implants
Me (10:00:21 AM): but all of our "downtown" areas are just generic...doesnt matter the size or anything
Me (10:00:46 AM): no guy ever gets a chick naked and says, "oh...that's all?"