Black Cloud: Vacation

Went on a short vacation with summer friend. I'll try to give you the short version.

Summer friend likes to ignore the GPS
The GPS is sensitive and if you ignore him too many times he will fuck you and send you to the ghetto
Kids are fucking annoying and should be left home
The Holiday Inn sucks

They allow pets - ie barking dogs at midnight
They don't have enough parking spots to accomodate their guests so you may have to park at the PC Richard next door
The breakfast wraps made my kid sick
If you lie and say you tripped on the curb while crossing from PC Richard to Holiday Inn, they really don't give a shit
They make you sign out towels
Yes, I'm serious.
If one of your kids unknowingly puts the "do not disturb" sign on the door knob you will not receive maid service that day
Okay, that one's on us - but it added to the misery.
The pull-out couch had a blanket from 1957 that appeared to have never been washed
The carpet...5th avenue after the Puerto Rican Day parade is cleaner.

There is nothing at Pier 1 that I would not buy
I like Pina Coladas, a lot.
Cooper's Beach is supposed to be one of the most beautiful beaches in the US. It's nice...but, just nice. Not special. They lie.

The highlight of Cooper's Beach was a 90 year old man with a bathing suit sagging low enough for his crack to show. I took a pic.

The ugly - girls ranging in age from 5-8 ran, topless, over our towels multiple times until summer friend spoke to the asshole mother.

In hindsight, we should have stayed here. There is a lot to do.
We shopped.
We took the kids in paddle boats. I saw a swan, a muskrat and multiple geese/ducks.
Kids should not stear paddle boats. Ever.
We ate at cute places. I still like pina coladas, a lot.
We went to Ditch Plains (a cool beach with sea cliffs) and I took lots of pics
I bought my man a hat
We had so much fun here we are planning to come back next year, exclusively, yay!

The End.

Black Cloud