Harassment Commandments

All of these big companies have anti-harassment policies and you always wind up having to sit through this whole internet-presentation about what harassment is, what you should report, what you're not allowed to do...

You would think that if you managed to get yourself hired to begin with, you should have enough common sense to know that certain behaviors just aren't acceptable in the work place.

For your amusement, I will share the cliffs notes version of such a policy:

1. Thou shalt not circulate pornography throughout the office using company email. (NOW what am I going to do with the second half of my day?)

2. Thou shalt not exchange sexual favors for promotions. (Guess I'll be an assistant forever.)

3. Thou shalt not stalk other employees.

4. Thou shalt not make racist comments.

5. Thou shalt not post offensive cartoons in one's cubicle. (My walls are now bare - HAPPY?)

...then they give you situations.

Someone posts a picture of Suzy's head on a naked body and makes photocopies to distribute throughout the office. What should Suzy do?!

A. Correct the problem by photocopying an ACTUAL nude photo with her own body for distribution.
B. Quit her job and contemplate suicide from the stress of it all.
C. Retaliate against employees a la trench coat and assault rifle.
D. Notify the HR department.

Hmmm...decisions, decisions...