...right into my livingroom, bedroom, kitchen and bathroom.
The roof is leaking - suddenly and everywhere. Landlord's looking into it. But in the meantime...this sucks.
My mom wanted to simply drop off gifts for the girl. I let her. She came after my sister's rehearsal dinner. She had wine. The sound of her voice when she's been drinking is like nails on a chalkboard. Why do I allow her in my life, at all, you ask? Well, I'm a glutton for punishment. I sent her away...not before collecting the gifts for the girl. It was American Girl stuff, that shit ain't cheap.
My sister got married on Saturday while I was getting my hair cut. Every family member I have was there. I am both relieved and feeling left out. That one I don't let back in because she really could give a shit about anyone but herself. My mom at least cares, deep down in the sober part of herself...0.01% of her, approximately.
Hmm, what else? Two other really major shit things that I just don't want to share yet. Maybe not ever.
The man is having a hard time of it lately. I am trying to be there for him, be supportive. He is my rock though, I like him strong. I hope he finds his way soon. I don't like to see him like this...I think he is hurting.
Christmas came and went, and there is no regaining financial stability with the girl's birthday just around the corner. She wants a winter luau. I am down with this. Ordered some cute stuff...
I spent my Christmas on the couch with friend drinking wine and eating until I had to switch to stretchy pants. I actually liked it that way. Peaceful. Relaxed. No pressure.
New Year's Eve I went to a friend's house for a bit. It started to snow/sleet, so I left early. Watched the ball drop from my couch. I spent a lot of my vacation on the couch. I left an ass-shaped indent.
I want to share my big issues with someone, preferably my bff. But she is so involved with her own stuff that I'm not sure she'd be of much comfort to me. Typically she just tries to one-up me with her own issues. That doesn't really help. I'm not about to have a pity party contest.
I'm kind of sad. Stupid cloud... I could really use a pick me up.
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
Wing Pong
Wing (we ate our weight in wings) Pong (Beer Pong) was fun.
I filled my cups with my drink of choice because I hate beer. It could have been worse.
Been rarely speaking to my crazy mom on the phone. I KNOW I know... I drew lines this time, boundaries. Told her I would only talk, not meet, this was it. I tell her everytime she asks about meeting up, then she hangs up on me, then she calls me like it never happened.
You know...I'm just not very bright.
She is texting me asking if she can come "sleep over." For real.
I thought she was just a drunk, not incredibly stupid. Is stupidity genetic?
I think some new spiders hatched out of my tree. Baby ones have been showing up on the ceiling. I kill them with the swifer. Multi-use that thing is. Have I mentioned I'm never getting a real tree again?
Watched a show last night where the chick was deathly afraid of the ocean. But because her new lover ran in, she faces her fears and runs into the ocean smiling. Smiling! If my love-machine was in a tub full of spiders and asked me to face my fears and jump in I would not:
1. Jump in. Hello, I'm scared. You get out.
2. Smile about it. Dumb show.
3. Immediately get over all fears just cuz I'm so madly in love.
Love does not conquer all. That's just something stupid people say. Bet my mom says it on the regular.
So what I kinda hit a lamp while jumping for joy that I got a ball in a cup?
So what I knocked down two other people's drinks?
So what I skipped through the bar merrily upon request?
I filled my cups with my drink of choice because I hate beer. It could have been worse.
Been rarely speaking to my crazy mom on the phone. I KNOW I know... I drew lines this time, boundaries. Told her I would only talk, not meet, this was it. I tell her everytime she asks about meeting up, then she hangs up on me, then she calls me like it never happened.
You know...I'm just not very bright.
She is texting me asking if she can come "sleep over." For real.
I thought she was just a drunk, not incredibly stupid. Is stupidity genetic?
I think some new spiders hatched out of my tree. Baby ones have been showing up on the ceiling. I kill them with the swifer. Multi-use that thing is. Have I mentioned I'm never getting a real tree again?
Watched a show last night where the chick was deathly afraid of the ocean. But because her new lover ran in, she faces her fears and runs into the ocean smiling. Smiling! If my love-machine was in a tub full of spiders and asked me to face my fears and jump in I would not:
1. Jump in. Hello, I'm scared. You get out.
2. Smile about it. Dumb show.
3. Immediately get over all fears just cuz I'm so madly in love.
Love does not conquer all. That's just something stupid people say. Bet my mom says it on the regular.
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
...not like Charlotte at all.
Why didn't anyone tell me? It seems like a common sense sort of thing...I should have known. Now it's too late, it's already in my house and it was hard work.
I cut down my own Christmas tree and it has spiders in it. I don't like spiders.
When I was a kid I decided I would go through my back yard and collect as many spiders as possible into a jar. I brought that jar into my bedroom. I gave those little fuckers air holes to breath.
...
Ever have that feeling that something is crawling on you? You look but there's nothing there. Phantom creepy crawlies. This is the morning I chose to ignore that feeling. When I finally opened my eyes that morning and witnessed the horror...they were just...everywhere. Webs and big spiders and little spiders - furry spiders - jumping spiders - spiders with teeth and spinal cords!
I don't like spiders.
Thanksgiving was okay. Quiet. Food was good and that's really all that counts.
I decided to take the girl's Christmas picture myself this year for Christmas cards. I like the way they came out. Target Portraits can suck it this year.
That's all I have to say...
I cut down my own Christmas tree and it has spiders in it. I don't like spiders.
When I was a kid I decided I would go through my back yard and collect as many spiders as possible into a jar. I brought that jar into my bedroom. I gave those little fuckers air holes to breath.
...
Ever have that feeling that something is crawling on you? You look but there's nothing there. Phantom creepy crawlies. This is the morning I chose to ignore that feeling. When I finally opened my eyes that morning and witnessed the horror...they were just...everywhere. Webs and big spiders and little spiders - furry spiders - jumping spiders - spiders with teeth and spinal cords!
I don't like spiders.
Thanksgiving was okay. Quiet. Food was good and that's really all that counts.
I decided to take the girl's Christmas picture myself this year for Christmas cards. I like the way they came out. Target Portraits can suck it this year.
That's all I have to say...
Monday, November 23, 2009
Twi-Hard
That's what they call people who likey the twilight books/movies - twihards.
I'm going tomorrow with two chicklets from work. We bought our tickets already. I'm very excited. If you aren't with me on this then you're against me and I will take you down. Any negative commentary will be met with hostility.
Miley concert was fun. I had no expectations. We had floor seats which turned out to be something I never want again when bringing little people along. Parents had kids on their shoulders making it difficult to see regardless of what row you were in. The kids got t-shirts and light sticks...I was struck with a light stick numerous times. Only once was it my own child. There were some teenagers standing on chairs. I knocked them down because that is obnoxious and rude.
Okay, I didn't... But WHO raised them? There are little people standing behind you. Skanks.
Thanksgiving this Thursday. I have my bird, as you know... I am well prepared. I will watch my parade and stuff myself then suffer through hours of football.
Saturday I'm going to cut down my own tree. First time ever. I expect complications.
I'm going tomorrow with two chicklets from work. We bought our tickets already. I'm very excited. If you aren't with me on this then you're against me and I will take you down. Any negative commentary will be met with hostility.
Miley concert was fun. I had no expectations. We had floor seats which turned out to be something I never want again when bringing little people along. Parents had kids on their shoulders making it difficult to see regardless of what row you were in. The kids got t-shirts and light sticks...I was struck with a light stick numerous times. Only once was it my own child. There were some teenagers standing on chairs. I knocked them down because that is obnoxious and rude.
Okay, I didn't... But WHO raised them? There are little people standing behind you. Skanks.
Thanksgiving this Thursday. I have my bird, as you know... I am well prepared. I will watch my parade and stuff myself then suffer through hours of football.
Saturday I'm going to cut down my own tree. First time ever. I expect complications.
Monday, November 16, 2009
All cuz I'm cheap
T-3 days to the Miley Cyrus concert. You wish you were me.
I went through the circular over the weekend. I was trying to be thrifty. I saw that three different grocery stores were offering my favorite free turkey promotion. Spend a certain amount, get a free cluck-cluck. I carefully choose my store, make a list, and head out. I shop, I calculate - I spend the desired amount and choose my prize. I make sure it's a heavy bitch, too.
I roll up to the check out. I load up my thanksgiving feast and food for the week. As she scans the items I see them adding up to the goal and I'm proud of myself for mentally adding properly. Lastly, she scans the giant cluck-cluck. I wait to see her punch in the code so that it will magically come off...FREE TURKEY...it should say. Nothing happens. She says, "147.56 please."
...
Um, did you take the free turkey off? I asked innocently, knowing the bitch didn't.
She says, "That promotion doesn't start until tomorrow."
I just...I don't...I can't even...when I plan something and I get all excited and it revolves around food and someone breaks my little heart like this...complete devastation.
Do I make her void the order and put everything back? NO. Mortified. Do I just buy it all and try to shop and spend the same amount later on in the week again to get the turkey later? NO.
She must have seen the smoke from my brain working so hard (or the tears)...she gave me the turkey anyway.
I'm quite pathetic.
Also, the girl told me I have a little belly like the Grinch yesterday. Cake topper.
I went through the circular over the weekend. I was trying to be thrifty. I saw that three different grocery stores were offering my favorite free turkey promotion. Spend a certain amount, get a free cluck-cluck. I carefully choose my store, make a list, and head out. I shop, I calculate - I spend the desired amount and choose my prize. I make sure it's a heavy bitch, too.
I roll up to the check out. I load up my thanksgiving feast and food for the week. As she scans the items I see them adding up to the goal and I'm proud of myself for mentally adding properly. Lastly, she scans the giant cluck-cluck. I wait to see her punch in the code so that it will magically come off...FREE TURKEY...it should say. Nothing happens. She says, "147.56 please."
...
Um, did you take the free turkey off? I asked innocently, knowing the bitch didn't.
She says, "That promotion doesn't start until tomorrow."
I just...I don't...I can't even...when I plan something and I get all excited and it revolves around food and someone breaks my little heart like this...complete devastation.
Do I make her void the order and put everything back? NO. Mortified. Do I just buy it all and try to shop and spend the same amount later on in the week again to get the turkey later? NO.
She must have seen the smoke from my brain working so hard (or the tears)...she gave me the turkey anyway.
I'm quite pathetic.
Also, the girl told me I have a little belly like the Grinch yesterday. Cake topper.
Monday, November 9, 2009
More of them...
When the girl was first born I didn't work full time. I stayed home with her mostly, raising her to be the cutie-patootie smart-ass she is today. Cook, clean, play with baby, go for a walk maybe, clean more...clean clean clean...soon you stop wearing make up because there's no one to see. You stop blow drying your hair each morning for the same reason. You wear comfortable sweats or jeans with a sweatshirt and sneakers everyday because...well...who are you impressing? You're a mom and this is the mom uniform.
When the girl was 2.5 I went to work full time, corporate style. Pencil skirt, woven shirt, stilettos, make up, blown out hair...
I like this version of me. It's the pretty me.
I'm still a mom. I still clean, cook, play with the girl. I still do mom things. I just don't wear the mom uniform anymore.
On the rare occasion that I can go pick up the girl from school, meaning, she does not take the bus to her afterschool program, I get to see the other moms. They are all in the mom uniform. All of them. ALL of them. None have converted, like me. I'm an alien. An outcast. A WITCH! They stare down at me...in their house coats...their sweatshirts that are holiday themed if a holiday is near. They hate me. They won't even talk to me. I used to be one of you...bitches. I stand alone.
Girl joined girlscouts. She is a Daisy. It was cut throat to get her in. I nearly had to sell my soul to the girlscout leader herself. Met all the other moms at the Halloween party last week, eager to make friends...guess what?
Curlers. Housecoats. Sweatshirts. Mom jeans. Keds. KEDS!
I tried to talk to each little group but they'd find a way to break away one by one and reconvene elsewhere, far from me. For real. It's like a peanuts cartoon and I'm pigpen...no one can stand to be near me.
When the girl was 2.5 I went to work full time, corporate style. Pencil skirt, woven shirt, stilettos, make up, blown out hair...
I like this version of me. It's the pretty me.
I'm still a mom. I still clean, cook, play with the girl. I still do mom things. I just don't wear the mom uniform anymore.
On the rare occasion that I can go pick up the girl from school, meaning, she does not take the bus to her afterschool program, I get to see the other moms. They are all in the mom uniform. All of them. ALL of them. None have converted, like me. I'm an alien. An outcast. A WITCH! They stare down at me...in their house coats...their sweatshirts that are holiday themed if a holiday is near. They hate me. They won't even talk to me. I used to be one of you...bitches. I stand alone.
Girl joined girlscouts. She is a Daisy. It was cut throat to get her in. I nearly had to sell my soul to the girlscout leader herself. Met all the other moms at the Halloween party last week, eager to make friends...guess what?
Curlers. Housecoats. Sweatshirts. Mom jeans. Keds. KEDS!
I tried to talk to each little group but they'd find a way to break away one by one and reconvene elsewhere, far from me. For real. It's like a peanuts cartoon and I'm pigpen...no one can stand to be near me.
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
Damn Dirty Turkey
So, with Thanksgiving upon us, TexAss friend's son has a turkey project due. We are back and forth about what should be done for the project. The teacher is harrassing her about it. Irritating. Projects for 6 year olds are just fucking irritating because they are really parent projects anyway. The kids just sit there, color a thing or two and write their names on it. It's all us...
Texas: seriously i just got an email from the teacher over damn turkey.
Me: roast that bitch a 20 lb turkey
leave the head on
Texas: heeeee.
the neck. omg. those are so nasty. wtf is it in there for?
Me: UNKNOWN
Texas: is it for you guineas?
Me: AHAHAHAHAHA
I want a turkey with no giblets
Texas: remember the first turkey you ever pulled one out of?
Me: YES i left them in
Texas: like seriously a WHAT THE FUCK moment.
Me: didnt know they were in there
i pulled out cooked giblets
Texas: in plastic?
Me: wax paper i think
Texas: my mom left one in but it was naked.
course she also put foil in the microwave. a chef she was not.
people use giblets but necks. neck soup! lol.
Me: EW
i dont even know what all the parts are
the neck looks like some poor mans penis part to me
Texas: man you've been fucking some odd shapes.
Me: come on, a little?
okay forget it
Texas: i'm never making another turkey.
Blow jobs are bad enough.
Texas: seriously i just got an email from the teacher over damn turkey.
Me: roast that bitch a 20 lb turkey
leave the head on
Texas: heeeee.
the neck. omg. those are so nasty. wtf is it in there for?
Me: UNKNOWN
Texas: is it for you guineas?
Me: AHAHAHAHAHA
I want a turkey with no giblets
Texas: remember the first turkey you ever pulled one out of?
Me: YES i left them in
Texas: like seriously a WHAT THE FUCK moment.
Me: didnt know they were in there
i pulled out cooked giblets
Texas: in plastic?
Me: wax paper i think
Texas: my mom left one in but it was naked.
course she also put foil in the microwave. a chef she was not.
people use giblets but necks. neck soup! lol.
Me: EW
i dont even know what all the parts are
the neck looks like some poor mans penis part to me
Texas: man you've been fucking some odd shapes.
Me: come on, a little?
okay forget it
Texas: i'm never making another turkey.
Blow jobs are bad enough.
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