Tracy Anderson Day 1

While away on a beautiful vacation in Florida...I gained some weight...more weight? I gained fat. Additional fat that is in addition to the fat I had already accumulated.

Moving on...

I read all about Tracy Anderson (google her if you dare) and how she was fitness trainer to the stars! I was all, "Hey! I want to look like those movie stars!"

You know I am gullible.

My man says he will order me a test DVD. I say okay. I order her full line of DVDs in addition to this tester because I already know I will love her. I also order the sneakers she is wearing. I have issues...keep your opinion to yourself.

I tried out the "tester" DVD. It was dance cardio. I had to learn the steps. I learned 3 of the routines, I did one with the music up to speed. I nearly passed out. That was 3 days ago.

Today I am trying out the "Metamorphosis" DVD.

I wanted to chronicle this live, on the off chance I stick with this shit.

So, Day 1 of the 90 day program to shape my "accessory muscles" and make me "tiny." Tiny has never been used to describe me, even as an infant.

She gives a nice speech at the beginning. She talks about how I have to do an hour a day, 6 days a week. Ok...I'll bite...what else?

A food plan. Skip. I can't work out AND diet. That's a recipe for self-destruction.

Measurements...daily...ugh...fine.

Weight: 140 (142 at night...I'll weigh in tomorrow morning)
Waist at belly button: 35 inches...I'm not sucking it in.
Hips: 37 inches (there is only a 2 inch difference between waist and hips? Double fuck)
Arm: 11 inches
(this feels incredibly degrading)
Thigh: 21 inches
Calf: 14
Boobs: 36
Ribs: 31

I think I'll only do that once a week. That was annoying.

Starting cardio...
5 minutes, I need a break because I feel like I'm running a marathon.
15.01 minutes, She says I am more than halfway there and I assume this is some kind of mind trick. I'm sweaty and breathing hard. I find her perky non-bouncing boobs threatening.
Okay...going back...
Here again, I bet that was only 60 seconds, and I stood still for 30...
Energizing bunny bitch...
Faked my way to the end of cardio...on to the second DVD
Why am I 1.5 hours into a 1 hour workout?
She hurts me.
I'm out of shape and gross.
Does this ever end?
I made it...I hate her...see you tomorrow.